Freelance Hell

The only thing worse than being a freelance reporter is looking for a job as a reporter. There are many frustrations inherent in freelance work, but the worst is sinking time into finding publications to pitch stories to. You have to read them front to cover to find out if the story is appropriate for the publication. Then you have to tailor the pitch letter, which might get read next month if you're lucky, to the publication and hope for the best. I have some great stories that are important but damned if I can get anyone's attention. Or, more accurately, there are few outfits that pay in the United States that are looking for hard hitting political or investigative pieces. It's really sad. I'm searching for foreign outlets - another time suck. Meanwhile, I'm not making a dime.
That's why I decided to find a job. At least I can work my way up to a magazine or newspaper that will pay me to do the stories I want to do. Another time vacuum. I found a place in Washington, D.C., that might work out, which means I have to live apart from my family. Then, all of a sudden, a local paper calls me that I wrote freelance for in the past. So I scurry into action writing cover letters and putting clips together and driving 60 miles RT to drop off. The likelihood of the job coming through is slim but it means staying local. So, I do what I have to so that I'll have some chance. Now I have two distinct beats to study and more acronyms in the alphabet soup game to dicipher.
I became a journalist because I really believe that reporters are one of democracy's institutions. I want to do the kind of reporting that justifies that position, in fact I AM doing that kind of work. So, folks, don't blame the reporters. There are many on fire with passion and integrity - probably most of them in fact.

Moving Target: Female Reporter

It happened again. A man it on me yesterday. Unremarkable except that he is a good friend's husband. For personal reasons beyond its total inappropriateness, when men I trust and believe are my friends make a pass at me it sends me into a tailspin. It's more upsetting than it should be. Or is it?
The incident reminded me of the last time I was so upset when a man - a mentor, a friend and my editor - did the same thing. It was a going away dinnner and I was still at one of my internships. I was suspicious when he suggested what sounded like a bit too romantic of a picnic. So I opted for a restaurant. We had a good conversation about politics and events. I suggested that we get a bottle of wine and go down to the river after all. I thought my original suspicion was misplaced (and felt bad for even thinking it) and I was enjoying the company. It turned out to be a far less public setting that I had expected. Of course, he did try to kiss me after I had made some lame attempts to dissaude his advances. I should have been clear and blunt from the start. I should never have been at that river in the first place. I spent the next two days curled up on a sofa going over every detail of the evening in my mind.
The thing is, I didn't feel like I could be clear or blunt because diplomacy was the only way to confront someone who had power over my career. I would ask this person to publish my work and as a freelancer I knew how easy it would be for him to say no. I had to lie and say that I would not have an affair with him because I loved my husband. That's true, but I wanted to say how hurt and angry I was by his assumption that I would have a romantic relationship with him in the first place. Meanwhile, another reporter had been calling me a name reflecting my physical features that was also not appropriate. Not rude, just inappropriate among colleagues. I finally told him not to. His response was that he was just admiring and he kept at it. Strangely, another well respected reporter told me once how good a pair of my favorite sunglasses looked on me. What the hell? It's not like I was walking around acting like a tart - or even flirtatious, but I didn't act tough either.
And that's the problem. I learned how important it is for women in the newsroom to create a tough, detached, impervious demeanor. Make the guys in the newsroom a little fearful of making passes or comments and earn their respect with top-notch reporting. She'll be called a bitch by the assholes but she can't let her guard down.
So when the guy made his move yesterday I was in the same position, but I didn't think I had to keep my guard up around people I thought were friends. Or that I'd have to tread lightly because this person is actually significant because he can help me get access to some reporting I want to do. It feels like shit to wonder if others are leering at me. That they could care less about what I think and how hard I work to do good reporting. It feels like shit to not be taken seriously. I just wonder how many other women, especially interns, find themselves in the same position. I've heard enough to know it's more common than is talked about openly. But I don't know yet how much more.

Sarajevo: Miss European Region of the Year

The EU crowned Sarajevo the 2006 European Region of the Year, effective January 1. It's supposed to introduce countries aspiring to EU membership into the Brussels club.

That's funny (in a sick way) because Miss European Region couldn't get a visa to visit most of Europe. Lines of hopeful Bosnians seeking visas stretch around Sarajevo’s various embassies every day. "How can they know about the EU if they can’t travel to its member states?" wondered Emir Hadzikadunic, spokesman for the Directorate of European Integration, which is responsible for channeling EU funds into projects.

It also creates absurb situations for officials, who have trouble traveling to Brussels for EU meetings. For one recent round, the European Commission’s office in Sarajevo had to send a messenger three hours away to Banja Luka to pick up Bosnian officials’ passports. The Dutch embassy had to issue the visas because Brussels does not have an embassy in Bosnia. The messenger then took the visas back to Banja Luka. That's the story a EC spokesman told me, but I've heard other, even more idiotic tales.

So, as pretty as she is, she'll be stuck at home with the rest of the Bosnians until EU member states lift their visa blocks. Maybe Belgium should go first, since it is the seat of the EU.

Bosnia - EU story

One of my pieces about Bosnia is online at http://www.theglobalist.com/StoryId.aspx?StoryId=5027